13 May 2011
It's Not Been Quiet
05 March 2011
The Engagement Story
I know that most of you are wondering a lot of things about the engagement. Not surprising. Something so amazing and a big step does invoke plenty of questions from the friends and family involved. I don't have many of the answers yet, however. Falling in love with someone from another country does not make it easy when you want to get married, especially if you're not already living in the same country as the other person. It's frustrating, the days seem ever long, and all you can think about is that eventual end.
The Engagement
I kind of knew that Paul planned on proposing Monday. Well, it was a knowing hope I guess. I knew that he'd been working up to it the whole two weeks I was there, and the recipe was perfect Monday. We drove into Stirling to visit Jenny, my landlady, then went to the shops (where Paul said we had to separate), and then planned to go on to the Wallace Monument. I think he wanted to propose at the top, but after a few delays, we got to the monument a bit too late. The woman at the desk told us we could basically run up the hill and see if they would let us in, but I made it about half way and felt like dying.
We hadn't walked far before he turned and looked at me, grabbing my hands, and told me that he had a question for me. I pretty much started crying right there. He asked me if I would marry him. I of course said yes and just as we were kissing, a random jogger ran past us. Ah, the weirdness of the different moments in our lives. But even with the strange interruption, it was perfect. We walked around the craig, eventually making our way to the top where we sat in front of the fence (rebels!) and gazed out at the perfect view. From up there you can see almost everything in the Stirling area, and the castle across the way was clouded in a gorgeous mist. It was all very picturesque and beautiful.
For those that don't know, the monument holds special meaning for Paul and I. We had only been going out for a week and it was our fourth date. We decided to have dinner and watch a film at my house, then walk to the top of the monument craig. You can't get inside the actual monument at night, but you are free to walk about the craig itself. Anyway, it was just dark, and we had meandered our way to the top. We had only been standing up there looking out for a few minutes when fireworks start going off in the distance. It wasn't a holiday, there was nothing going on at the university, but there they were. It was obviously a very memorable experience, and I'm really glad that Paul proposed there as well. Kind of brings the whole relationship full circle, because after that fireworks night, we decided to 'go steady' or be in a relationship, whichever term you prefer.
A lot of people are asking me when and where in terms of the wedding. Honestly, that's a very good question. We are both hoping for end of summer. With visa paperwork, deciding where exactly we want to live, and everything else (Paul getting enough time of work, picking a time that works for our families, etc), there's a lot to go through. I'm pretty sure we're going to get married in Kansas, but we do want to have receptions here and in Scotland. It's hard because we want all of our friends and family to be involved in everything, but distance becomes a very big factor in all of this. I will probably be constantly blogging for the next few months (obviously), so there will be plenty of updates.
17 February 2011
No Fun Can Be Had Over the Atlantic.
07 October 2010
Home, Home on the Range
The good thing is I'll be home in time to celebrate my mom's birthday with her, I'll get to have Thanksgiving with my family, and I'll no longer be awoken every morning by the puppy alarm clocks. Although frankly, I'm really going to miss that.
I would post about all of the people I'm going to miss from here - I've made some really good friends - but that would take too long and I think they know that I'll miss them. Instead, I want to talk about all of the things I'm going to miss. The things that make Stirling different and unique from Kansas, and from the rest of the States.
- The ocean is just a short drive away, in either direction. I'm really going to miss this one, since I grew up in a landlocked state and only first saw the ocean when I was 14. That's far too old to experience the beauty, and the North Sea especially is gorgeous and crystal blue.
- The castle just up the hill. I honestly don't take advantage of that enough - or my own free admission since I live in its shadows. But whenever I take the puppies out for a walk, we always walk past, and there is no better view of Stirling save on top the Wallace Monument.
- The Wallace Monument. I can see this from the train and I know I'm home. It's a constant reminder of my own family history (my great-grandmother was a Wallace), and it's gorgeous to boot. There are days when it's shrouded in the mist of the rain, and I wish that a camera could capture that beauty.
- The brick work. This is a weird one, but I mean the really old brick walls, the ones with plants growing between the cracks, where life can spring from the weirdest of places.
- Irn Bru. And the chocolate. And fresh chips from the chippy. And Indian food from a crummy looking takeaway. Even the McDonald's tends to be better here. Oh, and let's not forget the cheeses.
- My physical location within the city is really good as well. Within ten minutes I'm at the shops, where all of Stirling seems to spend their days. I'm even going to miss the hill I have to hike up to get back to my house.
- The National Library. As a researcher, it's close proximity to me (only an hour away) was much more useful that I could have ever imagined. And I just love the feel of it. A giant library with quiet rooms where no one talks, or runs around, or laughs over silly projects? Heaven.
- Trains. I love the freedom of just hopping on the train, and not having to think about things. It's not like driving, where you're always concentrating on the roads. I think I'm probably most relaxed when I'm on the train, to be honest. Unless there's a rowdy group of teenagers, or an equally rowdy group of alcohol-soaked adults.
- Oxfam books. Half of the novels I used for my dissertation came out of the charity shop's mystery shelves. It always seemed like they were stocking books just for me. I would have a specific novel in mind, and miraculously, Oxfam would have one on their shelves for me. At a price of £2. And the binding was already broken in for me. Magic.
- The puppies. I complain because Mindy attacks me in the early mornings, and Poppy sometimes barks at nothing. But I'm going to miss these two scoundrels. I'm even going to miss not having to put the bin out of reach so Mindy won't dump it out and shred the contents. Of course, I'm mostly going to miss their silly fights, and their kisses, and their companionship. They're not really things, but they're not people either. Although they have very distinct personalities.
16 September 2010
Author Dreams
My dissertation I just turned in largely dealt with a trilogy of novels by Denise Mina. She, along with Ian Rankin, formed the backbone of my argument and provided the most examples of my arguments. So when I found out that she would be speaking just up the road from me, it was too good to be true.
I was the youngest person there tonight by a good few years I think. And definitely the only one taking notes. I noticed that. My first impressions of Mina was what she was wearing - a rather cute dress, but she had jogging capris on underneath and slippers on her feet. I love writers. We often care so much about what other people think, and want people to like our words and connect with our stories. But there's an interesting thing I've noticed over my years of seeing writers read and talk - they're always casual. Carol, my YA writing friend, often wore these awesome band t-shirts to class, and even at one of the conferences we attended with her. I guess it's nice to feel like I fit in with this crowd - ask anyone, getting me into a dress is an amazing accomplishment. I do it on Sunday for a few hours, but if I could wear pants, I totally would. Paul's actually complained because I'm rarely dressed up and he'd like me to be less casual sometimes. I just think it's funny. But I love the whole notion I got with just my first impression of seeing Mina tonight.
Mina's not only written crime fiction, but she's also delved into graphic novels, comics, and other plays and short stories. But of course I was there to hear her ideas on crime fiction as a genre. And to hear her speak at all. You know, the normal author crush that you develop.
Anyway, she talked quite a bit about the high and low art distinctions, and how people view her genre. It's hard to write critically about crime fiction when the movement is still in the justification stages. Most critics are trying to defend it as a legitimate genre, and I just want to move past all of that and SHOW it's legitimate by writing about it in the first place. But what struck me was something Mina said - "I do love that people feel a little embarrassed for reading crime fiction." How funny. Mina pointed out that it's a cult thing, and with that embarrassment makes it a little bit more fun to write and to read. I think she meant that it's a guilty pleasure that she likes to enjoy, and likes her readers to enjoy it. And there's a negative aspect that comes with being seen as too literary - then sometimes you've lost that connection with your reader. Admit it, as a casual reader, you're less likely to go for the "literary" novel because just the definition makes it sound deep and frustrating to make it through. If it remains that guilty pleasure, people are allowed to read it and enjoy it on their own terms.
As an aspiring writer myself, I always listen for little tidbits about why people became a writer, and the advice they give as well. There's always someone in the audience who asks the questions, so I never feel like I have to. Mina discussed that at one time, she had been working towards her PhD, but didn't feel connected to academia. She liked it, but didn't push herself because the thought was always at the back of her head that she was really a novelist. It's an interesting parallel to my own life. Except that I actually like academia and want to be a part of both worlds. Which does happen. But there was something that she said that really resonated with me - "Be that (a writer) or shut up and do this better." It's an interesting way to motivate yourself. If you're going to follow your dream, do it. Don't keep putting it off and saying some day. Confront that dream head on and GO FOR IT. Considering some other events of the last few days, it resonated with me so much more I think.
After her talk, and a beautiful reading, I got my copy of Garnethill signed. She laughed when she noticed all of the flags and asked what they were for. I explained that I had used it in my dissertation and she asked me to give her a rundown of my thesis. She liked the idea and wrote "Thank you" in my book. How very cool is that?! I love writers.
Well, that's my rambling about my Mina experience. There's more to say, but I don't want to bore people. I might write more on it, but only bits that struck me or something.
10 September 2010
The Downside of Being a Critic
I started noticing this problem when I was in high school. It was hard, once you got into the habit of doing it, not to sit and examine the text. And think about all of the implications. And how I can connect it to a paper.
I did learn to turn this off, but I think I need to relearn it. Especially when it comes to crime fiction. After spending months on a dissertation on crime fiction, it's hard to read the books and not think about a paper I could write.
I've started reading Stieg Larsson's Millenium trilogy. You've probably heard of the books - Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played With Fire, and Girl Who Kicked a Hornet's Nest. I've read the first novel, and am now on the second. It only took a few days to get through the first one . . . haha. Anyway, now that I'm reading them, all I can think about is how they fit into my dissertation ideas or into other papers I could write.
Crime fiction used to be my respite. I've ruined that. Whoops.
Oh well, it makes it more fun to study.
09 September 2010
Post-Dissertation
Yes, THE dissertation. The one I've been pondering on for a year, researching since February, and writing all summer. I should find out the results of my dissertation before too long, and then I'll officially be a graduate with a Master's. I feel so old.
Although finding something to fill my days has been a bit more difficult. After all, for three months my life revolved around one paper, and then all of a sudden, I turned it in. Now I'm looking for a full-time job and trying to make some hefty decisions. But it's been hard to figure out how to fill the days when I'm not working and I've already filled out about twenty applications that day. At least that's what it feels like. Some days I wonder if I've applied for every possible job in Scotland. And then I remember that there are a few sectors that I've left untapped, mostly because I would be a joke to apply for them (like anything to do with math).
I'm also doing some reading and writing. I just finished the first Stieg Larsson novel, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, which I thought was pretty good. Can't wait to start the second. I'm also reading Stephen King's On Writing which I'm finding fascinating and instructive. At least until I get a full-time job, no reason I can't set some time aside each day to write. Which is what I plan to do, and then I'll work writing in around whatever job I'm able to get.
I promise that now the brain-dead is slowly ebbing away, I will update more often. Instead of once every two months or so.